THE THIEF, Oslo, Norway

A black messenger bike parked outside THE THIEF emblazoned with the hotel’s name is a subtle hint.  “Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.” On a dark, dreary and very wet spring morning in Oslo’s Tjuvholmen neighborhood, which is surrounded by water, the wind is gusting outside but a blazing fire is warming my hotel lobby.  A big bronze statue of a beggar man (or “thief”, get it?) adjacent to the entrance’s revolving door cued the art connection right away. As I dropped my bags and settled into a cozy club chair in the lounge with a morning coffee courtesy of Fru K, the hotel’s distinctive concept restaurant just above the open plan reception, my eyes widened spying a giant serpentine sculpture in front of one of the floor to ceiling windows. Could it possibly be a real Niki de Saint Phalle?  Motor revving finally from coffee (after a long flight from New York City and that awful downpour), I approached it skeptically and there on a tiny gold plaque was the engraved name. This is after all a Design Hotel, but I’m shocked, and lo if my eyes weren’t deceiving me here.

Glancing around the adjacent library bar tucked behind the elevator, a studied and perfectly curated selection of books and objets on gleaming golden shelves and surfaces surrounding cushy sofas, I begin to feel the passionate connection. There is dazzling art practically everywhere I look (including the mens room), part and parcel to THE THIEF’s DNA, not a hotel but a “hotel” as “art.” The nine story curvilinear building with a monumental glass facade is flooded with natural light at 10 a.m. but here the light is in contrast to a subdued and sensually moody atmosphere.  It’s a place to curl up with a Kafka novel or listen to some Dvorak on your I-pod. But make no mistake; there is light enough to view the treasures within.

According to Ajas Mellbye, the principal of the architectural firm chosen for the project, “A complicated construction like THE THIEF had a long maturation phase.  The outcome is a modern rendition of an international luxury hotel, with a strong mystic character to complement the neighboring Astrup Fearnley Museum by star architect Renzo Piano.” True, the hotel’s famous neighbor is pretty tough competition as far as buildings go but it’s obvious that THE THIEF decided to ante-up.  Supposedly, it cost more per room to build than any hotel in Scandinavia, and you know what? The spend shows. Plus, owner Peter A. Stordalen is a private sponsor of the museum and (you guessed it) art borrowed from the collection makes for one of the most exciting public galleries anywhere.

But even with the assemblage of hand-picked original artworks in every nook and cranny, don’t think for a minute that the hotel has forgotten a sense of humor. Day and night stepping in and out of the elevator, coming and going from your exquisite chambers, you’ll have a smile ear to ear thanks to the animated films created exclusively for THE THIEF’s elevator cars by quirky contemporary British artist, Julian Opie, whose digitalized figures are the hotel’s tour de force.  A rendering of an Olympia Dukakis look-alike frowns first then smiles upon your exit. Or a Geisha-like femme fatale blinks repeatedly as if contemplating flirtation with you. I wondered what stories our poster girls could tell if only they could talk. At THE THIEF, the art collection is the protagonist, not just an accessory to go with the color scheme of a room.

And what about the rooms?  You didn’t think they would be less than fabulous, did you?  Cantilevered balconies off all 119 of them are certainly a thrill once you get the nerve to step outside on one (especially when you’re standing on a base of grill work) and oh, those views! You’ll gladly submit to this every day during your stay. Life’s got to have some drama, after all.

The furnishings and décor take their cue from the hotel’s art collection and are characterized by their individuality thanks to Norwegian interior designer Anemone Wille Vage, whose play with contrasts is strongest here. Spacious quarters show off dark wood paneling interspersed with back-lit panels behind the bed and rich brown carpets with light parquet floors.  And don’t even get me started on the bath, a marvel of engineering if ever there was one. Feel like doing a few stretches in your morning shower?  There’s plenty of room in the massive walk-in and you’ll have no problem limbering up under the very large rainshower then waking up with a cold spray from the tubular hand-held. Amenities by Cotswold based holistic beauty brand Ila-Spa will have you thinking about scarfing a few (c’mon where else can I get this?). I hope they understand what they’ve done to us.

Stepping into THE THIEF is sure to rob you of something. Their tagline, “Steals you away from everyday life” is so true. But, from what, you ask?  Mediocrity, of course.  THE THEIF is the antidote for boredom, celebrating the unusual and the unexpected in everything. Now, let’s get down to breakfast at Fru K for those amazing Norwegian waffles.

What kind of exhaustive details go into a stay at a Design Hotel with a pedigree like THE THIEF?

Here is (just a part of) the list:

 

• Custom designed “his and her” Norwegian wool slippers by Runa Klock
• Soft and fleecy faux-fur signature brown bathrobes by Maggie Wonka (if only I’d had room to bring one back)
• Exclusive down duvets from HØIE
• A woolen blanket at bedside by L & J for Røros Tweed (hint:  perfect for that nap)
• Nespresso machine (yes, you’ll need coffee)
• Verbena tea at turn-down (for relaxing, remember?)
• Antonio Citterio armchairs
• King Size mattresses from the Swedish company, Hilding
• Interactive televisions with video art
• Geneva sound system
• Key card jackets cleverly laser cut to reveal the “T” design on the key (loved this!)